|
| In recent months, I've been struggling a lot in trying to figure out who I am and where I fit in. I had a lot of doubts about myself and what I really had to offer. What was I worth to my friends and family, to my church, to society, to God, or even to myself.
But God reminded me that none of these fears and doubts really mean anything, because two thousand years ago, Christ regarded me, a sinner, worth dying for. So it doesn't matter if the world tells me I'm worthless, I'm not good enough, or that I'm unimportant, because Jesus regarded every sinner, even me, worth the price. | | |
| So Cara's bugging me to update this thing.
If it isn't obvious, my attempt to blog daily about things I'm thankful for failed. I realized that it was a whole lot harder than I thought it would be when I started. I wanted to write quality posts, but also to write every day. After a while, I began to realize the things I was most thankful for were not, in fact, things at all, but rather different people who've had a profound influence on me.
That's not to say that there haven't been many things I've been thankful for lately. As most of you know, I got baptized last Sunday. I also turned 21 recently. I've had alcohol, and I realize it's overrated. I think the allure of alcohol to me was more about the fact that it was off limits than about the drinks themselves. And I guess part of that is just human nature. Adam and Eve were told not to pick for the tree of life and the tree of wisdom, and so that's what it is. There's something about the desire for that which is forbidden that seems so innate.
Today I was reading from a book of Greek mythology that Lynn had at 114. I read the story of Pandora. It said that Zeus gave this woman an insatiable curiosity and then gave her a box that she was not allowed to open. Now, why would he do that?!? That's so mean! You make someone curious and then give them a box of secrets?
In any case, tangents aside, I don't think I really enjoy alcohol all that much. I'll probably drink at special occasions, but I doubt I'll get into drinking recreationally.
I'm pretty happy that I finally got baptized. It was a decision that took me a really long time to make - two years actually. It doesn't really change anything, I'm no more of a Christian now that I got baptized. I still struggle with the same things, and I still have the same responsibilities as before. I guess it feels like it's official now. I even got this certificate signed by PG which says I got baptized at DCCC on the 18th of May.
Maybe after SAN is over, I'll try to start up the thankful posts again. I should have a lot more time then.
| | |
| Give us each day our daily bread. - Luke 11:3
Two weeks ago, we did a Bible Study on the Lord's prayer. Many people interpret this verse as God providing us with spiritual food, via the Word, prayer, worship, etc. But what we learned in Bible Study is that, although that could be a valid interpretation, what Jesus is really talking about is actual bread. For the Jews, bread was their staple food, the most common and basic of necessities, next to air, water, and shelter. I like to make the joke that if the Bible was written for Asians, the verse would say "Give us each day our daily rice."
When I think about relying on God, most of the time I think about God providing for my higher order needs. Through the Bible, God communicates to us our purpose: why He created us, what we're here for, and how we ought to live. Through prayer, we ask God to give us the strength and confidence to get us through struggles we face in life, to take our burdens from us and give us peace of mind, and to bless the work that we do so that we might achieve something. Through church, we come together as a fellowship of believers, learning to love and be loved by one another, and to develop a community of friends and family.
Most of the time, however, I fail to think about the smallest things that God provides for me. I think that's why I started these thank you notes, so that I might not forget. But it's really difficult to remember all the small things. It's amazing that God is not just a God who sees to our higher order needs, but rather He is the full package. He gave me salvation, and honestly, that's a far greater gift than anything else He's given me, and it should be enough. But no, God doesn't stop there. God continues to provide for me, from instructing and guiding my life down to providing every grain of rice I eat.
| | |
| After two months of talking and planning, Relay is finally here! For
those of you who don't know, Relay For Life is the American Cancer
Society's signature annual fundraising event. Basically, the 24-hour
event is held on a track, and the goal for each team is to have at
least one team member on the track at all times for the duration of the
event. I've been participating in this event with Compass for three
years now, and have been a team co-captain with Felicia for two of
them. It's been loads of fun, and we spend a lot of time hanging and
bonding together.
This year's relay started a little over 12 hours ago, and is in fact
still going on now, as I type this note from the warmth and comfort of
my living room. Haha, I should probably end my break and head back
soon, because team captains probably shouldn't disappear for too long.
Before I do that I wanna write down why I relay, so I won't forget this
when I reread this years later. I relay because cancer affects
everybody. 1 out of 3 people will hear the words, "You have cancer" in
their lifetime. I consider myself incredibly fortunate that none of my
family members or close friends have had cancer yet. However, that
doesn't make cancer less of a reality to me. My high school choir
director, Mrs. Isola, was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. She's
cured now, from what I hear, and I am incredibly thankful for that. She
was my teacher for three years, and she really cared about the
students, and we all loved her.
I relay because I know that in the future, it's very likely that more
people I care about, or possibly even I myself, will hear those words
one day. I relay because cancer is a devastating disease that destroys
a person from the inside, and is an incredibly painful, draining, and
life-altering ordeal. I relay because I want to help cancer patients,
and while I can't do the actual research or perform medical procedures,
I can help by fundraising with ACS and educating myself and those
around me about cancer. | | |
| James and I are wildly different people. We have completely different
personalities, mostly different interests and tastes, and different
schedules and lifestyles. I think that the one thing I appreciate most
about him is his patience. Personally, that's one of the areas is which
I lack the most, but James sometimes seems to have an endless amount of
patience and tolerance. I know this, because he puts up with me,
hahaha. I'm pretty messy and he's really clean. I stay up pretty late,
and he's usually in bed hours before me. We both eat a lot of junk
though, haha.
Thanks for putting up with me all this time, James. Good luck tomorrow bro, I know you'll make us all proud =] | | |
|
